GoT-watching young voters, confused by ‘postal’ marriage equality vote, deploy ravens to Canberra

The imminent postal vote on gay marriage has seen pet stores and ye olde calligraphy shoppes swamped by thousands of young Australians.

The 18-34 year old demographic is strongly in favour of allowing gay marriage, and campaigning in recent weeks has spurred many young people into action to ensure their voice is heard.

However, given millennial’s lack of familiarity with concepts such as ‘stamps’, ‘envelopes’, ‘mail boxes’ and so called ‘postal services’, yet strong awareness of long distance communication via ravens thanks to the popular HBO series Game of Thrones, national stocks of ravens, ink, parchment and leather pouches are at all time lows, albeit from reasonably low lows to begin with.

Officials at the ABS in Canberra have begun replacing the census server room with a ‘modern, high throughput, data secure rookery’, with oversight from IBM’s new raven-based communications consulting team.

An IBM spokesman stated “We’re hoping for far less denial of service attacks this time around – It’s a lot harder to hit a bird on the wing with an air-rifle than it is to launch a bot army from a basement in Beijing”.

The ABS is believed to have informed IBM that any repeats of the census debacle will result in ravens being released to attack IBM staff.

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