Mike Pence memorises every line from House of Cards

Biding his time and looking for inspiration for his inevitable move to claim the throne of the United States of America, Mike Pence has taken to binging on House of Cards.

So great is the Vice President’s burning desire for power that he has watched the show incessantly, and is now capable of verbatim quotes for entire episodes.

Sources close to His Viceness say that he has begun affecting a southern drawl in private conversation, and has a picture of Kevin Spacey to look at during his morning devotion and flagellation.

It is not yet known how Pence will “create the context” for deposing Trump, in the manner of Frank Underwood.

However, given the current turnover of staff in the Trump administration, it seems only a matter of time before someone is caught doing cocaine in the Oval Office, and the whole thing falls over.

Given that Pence is likely to be far more competent at showing even a glimmer of leadership and enacting truly atrocious policies, many rational individuals fear his ascendancy even more than they fear Trump continuing in power.

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