Cory Bernardi barely conceals erection at potential Liberal Party split

Speaking today at a press conference he called outside of his Adelaide home, Senator Cory Bernardi insisted that he must remain behind the lectern at all times.

“I’ve got a thing…it’s a medical condition. You probably haven’t heard of it. Anyway, I need to keep the bottom half of my body from public view” said a red-faced Bernardi.

The press conference had originally been called so that Senator Bernardi could publicly call on the Liberal Party to split into two groups; the “Right” and the “Pinko, Commie, God-haters that follow Malcolm”. The “Right” would be welcomed into Senator Bernardi’s Australian Conservative Party, while the rest would be free to join Labor or the Greens, shortly before having their citizenship revoked.

Unfortunately for the senator, as he was speaking, he turned hard to the right, and his fully engorged penis caught the microphone cable, pulling it off the lecturn.

Senator Bernardi then awkwardly stood behind the podium, insisting that he couldn’t move away, but the press should leave immediately.

It is reported that Bernardi later chastised himself with the appropriate whip.


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