National terrorism crisis solved with decisive placement of nazi themed severed pigs head

Local aussie patriots Noel Clements, 32 and Darryl Macintyre, 37 have successfully repelled the insidious invasion of Islam in Australia and made sure that the mussies know they are are on notice with a stunning and symbolic gesture of national pride.

The pair confessed to CentreLine that after ploughing through a carton of bitter in Mr Clement’s living room, the men had a stroke of genius about how best to deal with the terrorists that have been making life a violent, blood soaked hell in suburban Brisbane. 

Despite taking only 24 hours to be implemented, the idea of leaving a rotting pig head in a backpack emblazoned with a swastika at the school gate of the Islamic College of Brisbane, appears to have ended the terrorist threat nationwide.

ASIO counter-terrorism operations manager Ernest Chip spoke to a crowded media conference from Brisbane: “Nationwide, we’ve seen islamofacist chatter on Whatsapp and other encrypted messaging services fall away to negligible levels. 

Melbourne police, having executed a raid earlier in the week on suspected homegrown jihadis, were stunned to find their suspects safely disposing of their bomb making materials at the local tip.

One man was arrested partway through a call to Hertz, cancelling his upcoming hire of a light truck. All have cited the pig head in a Nazi backpack as demonstrative that their efforts are in vain.

Macintyre cogently articulated his views to the CentreLine this morning.

“Well we gotta let em know that there’s such thing as Australian values and Halal is not welcome, and youse can’t have the Sharia and the burqas cause we’ve got freedom of speech in this country right, so if youse don’t like it you should fuck off back to the desert.” 

When asked about whether threatening children from Islamic families may encourage feelings of isolation from the Australian community at large and subsequently contribute to terrorism, Macintyre laughed “fuckin raghead kids don’t get a free pass. I’ve seen em on youtube, running around with cut off heads. We get em’ though! wherever they hide, hospitals or homes no running from a fucken missile aye!”

 

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