Macron bedazzles Trump on state visit by presenting “Eurotrip” stereotype of France

Emmanuel Macron’s deft diplomatic nous was on show again with a state visit for Donald Trump and wife Melania being considered a resounding success. As the American delegation left the country, reports centred on the door he has left ajar for the United States to return to the Paris Accord on climate change, and his astoundingly nuanced and delicate tact in complimenting Brigitte Macron for her good physical condition (presumably with the subtext, for a leathery old bag).

Macron’s team perfectly choreographed the visit, involving the President in either simple or stereotypical activities that they were certain he would understand or be able to connect to his perception of France.

Initially showing the American President a military parade which was sure to appeal to his inner 8 year old boy with attention deficit disorder, the Macrons treated the Trumps to a dinner on top of the Eiffel Tower, where Donald would almost certainly be aware that he was in France because it was the Eiffel Tower.

The CentreLine has also learned that following the dinner, the Trumps were invited to ride bicycles with baskets stuffed with baguettes to a private mime show by men with twirly moustaches, big noses, black and white striped shirts, berets and red kerchiefs,  accompanied by accordion music.

As a parting gift, the Trumps were presented with a prize pair of cheese eating monkeys, specially trained to put up their hands if you make a gun gesture at them.

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