Singer posts picture of babies, society takes one more step toward oblivion

In a move sending internet losers into a frenzy, the likes of which had not been seen since the last time she did something like this, famous mime artist Beyonce has pushed humankind another step closer to its demise.

Announcing the names of her already doomed to a life of paparazzi-and-therapy children, Sir Carter and Rumi….er, Carter, “That Singer From That Destiny’s Child Thing”, as she is no longer known, has demonstrated just how fickle and fucking ridiculous humans can be.

The picture, apparently taken at the Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers, shows the famous “singer” draped in a veil and a bedsheet, while exposing her newborns to dangerous amounts of UV radiation.

Sir Carter and Rumi 1 month today. 🙏🏽❤️👨🏽👩🏽👧🏽👶🏾👶🏾

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

Despite this blatant display of negligent parenting, the internet has lapped it up, gathering over 5 million Instagram likes in just a few hours.

Considering that most of the comments under the photo are complete nonsense, this correspondent can only assume at the intelligence levels of her followers and laugh smugly. (Editor’s note: Not all of her fans speak English, idiot.)

Regardless of this, The CentreLine would like to extend their warmest wishes to Mrs Zed and her growing family, in an attempt to ingratiate itself with her fans, and extend its fledgling fan base.

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