This is part of our series “The Switch-Up”, where we look at both sides of an issue, in a reasonable and balanced manner. This week, we’re looking at compulsory voting. Make sure you check out the link at the bottom for the other side!
A complex statistical model has been developed by pollsters studying what would happen if Australia abandoned compulsory voting. They have used months of data to create a robust picture of Australia’s political landscape in this scenario.
“Its not a pretty picture for the major parties, I can tell you that”, says lead political scientist, MIke Roppinus.
“Our polling has shown that participation in a federal election, particularly one involving the current choices, would fall from 95% to 0.0095%. Out of an enrolled voting population of approximately 15.6m, and spread across 150 seats, that works out to about 10 voters per seat.”
The model, however, has one flaw; it can’t predict who will win.
“As I said, the major parties won’t be getting anywhere near the levels of support that they’re used to. Furthermore, we’re seeing a majority of voters choosing the Meh Party, generally 6 votes a seat. Its a landslide!”
“The problem is we don’t know who that is.”
“There’s no official party registered under that name, and it doesn’t appear to be an acronym or a name of a candidate. We’re totally stumped.”
Disbelieving the story, your correspondent asked to be shown the survey results. Surprisingly, piles and piles of responses showed the same answer:
“If Australia were to abandon compulsory voting, who would you vote for in the next federal election? Meh”, reads the sheets.
Exactly who this Meh Party is and how they have achieved such an alarming stranglehold on voters remains a mystery.