Having spent years lapping the competition on Australia’s TV screens, the Duracell Bunny is outraged at not being chosen to install the world’s largest insult to the coal industry in South Australia.
The Bunny, known off-screen as Indie Fatigable, spoke today of his disappointment in the South Australian government for this act of betrayal.
“Look I spent years appearing in moronic adverts on Australian TV to ingratiate our brand in the minds of young Australians and show them the power of stored energy. Pun intended.”
“We didn’t spend all that time and effort to turn around and have Elongated Smells sneak in with his namby pamby, new-age lithium-ion crap and steal our business away.”
“Alkaline batteries were good enough for Thomas Edison, and they should be good enough for you ingrates. If you’re going to be building the world’s largest battery, it should be strapped to the back of a giant version of me, towering over the South Australian countryside.”
The CentreLine understands that, if such a model were to be built and maintain anatomical accuracy, the Bunny’s anus would be 150m in diameter and 200m off the ground.
Hopefully there’s nothing more to come.