Pokies now accepting food taken directly from children’s plates as payment

This is part of our series “The Switch-Up”, where we look at both sides of an issue, in a reasonable and balanced manner. This week, we’re looking at gambling. Make sure you check out the link at the bottom for the other side!

In a bid to assist families struggling with gambling addiction, the pokies lobby has today announced that they will start accepting payments in the form of children’s food.

“We to really help those who are struggling with this disease” said a spokesperson for the Pensioners & Retirees Are Targets (PRAT), which represents the pokies industry.

“If money is involved, then the state and federal governments want a slice, and these poor people are already in over their heads. They don’t need to be trodden on by Big Government more than they already are.”

“By accepting payment directly in the form of food, there’s no tax, so we get to keep more of the pizza ourselves, and these individuals can pay off their debts faster. It’s a win-win.”

Under the arrangement, affected individuals will bring their children and the appropriate food to a predetermined venue. The parents will then load up a plate of food for the child, who will present it to a gambling industry representative.

The food will then be valued by a panel of judges, who will award points for taste, texture and the level of distress displayed by the child.

If a person brings enough food to clear their debt, they will be rewarded with a celebratory $10 voucher to a pokies machine.

The other side: Being terrible at gambling now nation’s favourite past-time

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