Local crows have shat out a statement on the local media’s cars, indicating that they are getting back to basics and focusing on only the best rubbish. The move comes after the Ibis community have aggressively expanded their consumption of waste.
“We just eat what we find, we don’t bow down at the temples of hyper consumerism” cawed the spokesbird for the crow community.
“Ibis’ are willing to eat literally anything, and we can’t stoop to that level. It’s not healthy, it’s not environmentally friendly and it’s not sustainable. So we’re going to put all our energy into the high value, organic rubbish.”
“Unlike the ibis community, we recognise that we are part of the environment, and need to be conscious of our choices.”
Local bin chooks have scoffed at the announcement, stating that “any sensible bird could see that eating as much plastic as possible is clearly the best way forward” and “we can’t all afford to worry about how the food is grown when there’s mouths to feed”.
A few minor scuffles had to be broken up by passing possums, with ibises and crows calling each other “yuppies” and “bogans”, respectively.