Wokeboy takes gap year to counteract his privilege

This is part of our series “The Switch-Up”, where we look at both sides of an issue, in a reasonable and balanced manner. In this case, we’re looking at political correctness. Make sure you check out the link at the bottom for the other side!

Local wokeboy and self-declared citizen of the world, Des Titoot, was sitting in a cafe at 10am on Tuesday, when he was hit with an epiphany.

It was so violently sudden that a small thunderclap emanated from his ears.

“I was sipping my Fairtrade, single-origin, Ethiopian latte, and thinking about my impending graduation. Then I realised; I can’t be implicit in the perpetuation of the patriarchy in the workforce ” said Des Titoot, in an exclusive interview with The CentreLine.

“I know the world needs Political Science and Literature graduates, I do, and I know that I can contribute a lot with my talents. But I can’t, in all good conscience, participate in the workforce until women are treated equally” Des continued, as the The CentreLine journalist covered a laugh with a cough and politely asked Des to put his shoes back on.

“The only way forward is for me to sacrifice my own career prospects for the sake of my sisters. I do this in solidarity, taking solace in the knowledge that I serve a higher purpose.”

“I might even go and visit some of those Ethiopian coffee farmers. I bet I could teach them a thing or two! Give back to the community, you know?”

The CentreLine contacted Mr Titoot’s parents to ask them, for the good of mankind, where they went so horribly wrong. They said they really didn’t know.

The other side: Rabid political correctness finally put down after ‘going mad’

 

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