Cory Bernardi and Barnaby Joyce launch new Clean Coal Detox Diet

Conservative warhorses and noted coal enthusiasts Corey Bernardi and Barnaby Joyce have put aside their acrimonious history and come together to found a new detox diet that is making waves around the nation.

Speaking from Canberra, Mr Joyce described the new venture. “Cory and I, as you know, think coal has been getting a bad rap recently. People forget that it’s a totally natural, unprocessed and unadulterated product, made from a whole range of dried and compressed native plants, and sourced from a range of beautiful natural locations around the country. It ranks alongside incaberries, coconut oil and chlorophyll as one of the most important superfoods that the modern Australian diet has been missing”

“We grind the coal by hand in our artisanal workshops in Biloela and Latrobe. When activated with pure Australian springwater, it releases its ancient stores of detoxing carbon, hydrogens, sulphur and oxygen that bind and neutralise negative energy ions and quarks in the body. It’s a totally transcendentalisational experience. Even Robert De Natale is into it!”

Clean Coal Detox is available now in two flavours, Anti-aging Anthracite and Luscious Lignite.

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