Local man notices camera orientation change, small piece inside dies

At a recent awkward workplace award presentation, the recipient noticed the subtle change of camera orientation from portrait to landscape, resulting in yet another piece of his soul being crushed by his own self-doubt.

Local land-whale Thomas Butterstone was standing awkwardly next to someone whose annual salary could pay his mortgage several times over, clutching a laminated certificate when he noticed the resident Executive Assistant change the way she was holding the camera from portrait to landscape.

Through the forced smile, and trying not sweat even more than he already was, Mr Butterstone noticed the change, and knew immediately that she couldn’t fit his gigantic carcass into the frame.

“It was awful. I already had an entire room full of people staring at me, and then I saw it. She took a couple of photos, and frowned at the screen. Straight away, I knew that she was missing my entire left side. Then, I saw her quickly change to landscape and try a few more.”

“To be honest, I don’t think that she was too happy with what she got then, but by then my smile was so forced, if you put some of those plugs on my nose, I could have been a synchronised swimmer.”

The Centreline is happy to report, that after going home and shame-eating a pie and chips, Mr Butterstone felt a bit better. For a while.

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