Cashless economy supporters exposed as shills for the Treasury

This is part of our series “The Switch-up”, where we look at both sides of an issue, in a reasonable and balanced manner. In this case, we’re looking at the drive for a cashless economy. Make sure you check out the link at the bottom for the other side!

Startling revelations occurred today, as various think-tanks, academics and other “thought-leaders” were found to be on the take from the Treasury.

Many have highlighted that one of the major beneficiaries of a cashless economy stands to be the Treasury. Saving the costs of creating physical currency, and capturing extra GST revenue by wiping out self-employed tradies would be a double win for the government coffers.

Yet no-one had linked the Treasury to the push from the academic world for Australia to implement a cashless economy. Now, however, the CentreLine has obtained exclusive documents that professors at the University of Nah-Duuuhhh were gladly accepting government hand-outs, in exchange for supporting the abolition of cash.

“I can’t believe these bloody plumbers” started one email from a high-ranking professor. “I just want to get my new toilet installed, and he tells me now it’s going to cost twice as much, because he’d given me the quote based on paying cash. F$%king outrageous! I can’t wait for these pricks to get what’s coming to them when all the cash disappears.”

“Let’s write another think-piece for the ABC. That’ll show them we mean business.”

While the wonks at the Treasury are all for abolishing cash, the Federal Government has expressed concerns. In particular, Barnaby Joyce said he “wasn’t quite on board yet”, as he “can’t really see how coal fits into the picture”.

The other side: Cashless economy will ensure technophobes cease to burden the rest of us

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