In a move that has failed to shock a single male who voted for the Conservative Party, Theresa May has raved about how she is looking forward to her new work sharing arrangements.
The lawmaker looks set to form a minority government with the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP), who are likely to demand serious concessions and expect to have their leader, Arlene Foster, in a powerful position in Westminster. Many conservative voters are concerned about having so much power concentrated between two women.
“This leadership split will give both me and Arlene a chance to return to the traditional place for British women; scurrying around the kitchen”, stated Prime Minster May.
“This sudden commitment to traditional family values has not at all been influenced by me requiring the support of a bunch of religious Paddies”.
Members of the ProLife Alliance were last seen shouting their excitement at this arrangement, from the relative safety provided by a local bridge. The pro-active-control-of-women’s-choices-Britain-wide party excitedly jabbered at how the British Prime Minister will now be able to spend more time at home devoted to baby-making and pie baking.
While careful negotiations are happening at the top to set up these arrangements, the rest of the male Cabinet met behind closed doors to drink liquor and make office jokes about ol’ Resa’. Generally, they were found to be in favour of the job-sharing arrangement, as it shows how progressive they are on gender issues. The ministers were oblivious to the women serving their drinks, who received minimum wage from their employer for their jobs, and a grateful slap on the arse from their husbands for managing their families.
Later in the evening, concerns were raised with Brexit, after Boris Johnson was overheard saying he can’t handle the negotiations because the EU representatives “went to the wrong school”.