The latest results from Nielsen ratings show that the country is finally switching over to channel ten to find something entertaining, but it definitely isn’t The Project.
The ratings survey participants were most enticed by the hope of witnessing emotional breakdowns of TV personalities fearing for their jobs, outrageously aggressive programming in a last ditch attempt to win viewers, or even flat out looting.
“Yeah, I was waiting to see someone just start smashing up the news desk and running off with the logo. That would have been amazing” said Norm Inary.
“It would have been far more exciting than being lectured at by Waleed Aly or Carrie Bickmore. Seeing a newsreader scared out of their mind is way funnier than anything Dave Hughes has ever managed”.
It is unclear at this stage if Network Ten will manage to broadcast its own death throes, but experts predict that the final broadcast of Gogglebox will be followed by world peace and mega-orgies.