Greenies caught literally burning all the jobs

In a desperate call for attention and attempt to scream its relevance, members of the Green Party have taken to burning all the jobs available in Australia. After revising their webpage to reflect on yet another ‘new’ and ‘progressive’ direction, there have been attempts to soak ‘dem bad boys in hemp oil and watch it all burn.’

Police have been forced to a standstill by the whiny left wingers, and they were left scratching their heads at the shaman circles organised thanking the alternative dimension ghosts before the burning could commence.

Local non-satire worker, Joe Blow, was also confused, “I mean their normal gimmick is to try to ruin all the jobs in the economy by suggesting we could easily transfer our core competency of digging rocks out of the ground, to being experts in solar power, and I dunno, hemp rope”.

“But it’s not that simple. I literally shovel shit for a living, so, ugh, they are out of touch”.

At press time the movement appeared to be faltering as the Green supporters ended up in a safe circle, to consider how burning the jobs would entail burning paper and thereby harming the spirits of the trees of mother earth.

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