Margaret Court F%$kng Loves A Double Down

In a further shock announcement this week, septuagenarian former tennis great Margaret Court has revealed her love of KFC’s Double Down.

Not content with the ordinary level of self-loathing associated with the consumption of KFC usual meals, Margaret admits that she has to really get stuck into some shitty, shitty food on a Sunday night.

“Look, nobody wants to be seen eating KFC in public. So I say, if you’re going to cause great public embarrassment for yourself and those you love, in for a penny, in for a pound!” said Court, with bacon grease dripping off her chin.

“All these people saying that we need to eat healthier is nonsense. Total conspiracy to destroy the minds of our youth. We never had to worry about this kind of s$%t in my day, we ate some f$%king chicken and played some f$%king tennis. These health fanatics that have infiltrated sport have ruined everything”

KFC’s only response to the Centreline was “We’re not sure where she’s still getting them, we haven’t sold them in Australia since last November”

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