Labor party members have been left utterly bamboozled and feeling a little dirty with the recent ‘Stealthing’ of their policies.
Stealthing which derived its name from the removal of a male contraceptive during coitus has invoked many similarities between the current messy state of Australian politics. The Liberal party have spent the previous week post-budget exchanging hi-fives and cheesy smiles at every opportunity at the sheer brilliance of their power move.
A Liberal party spokesperson recently spent the entire interview puffing out their chest and talking over reporters in a bid to ensure their superiority would be felt by all. The move has thrown industry insiders off balance as the historically right wing political party adopted a number of socialist policies aimed at helping the poor.
Avolana, 22, a millennial considering the implications of the recent proposal to allow excess superannuation payments to be spent on her first house was equally confused. “I just don’t get it, they (The Liberal Party members)are acting like they want to fix the problems of the disadvantaged in society but they keep using quotation marks in media appearances and giving themselves knowing winks and taps of the nose to each other.”
A party spokesperson could not be reached for comment as they did not feel that they were in a safe place. Sources within the Labor cabinet have indicated that the party is considering all options including the option to pretend that they really don’t care and will actually swing harder to the right in a bid to outmanoeuvre the Liberal Party power play. “At this stage I think we are considering disbanding all unions across the country in a bid to spite the bastards for thinking they can do our weakly motivated policies better than us”, a source who wished to remain anonymous claimed.